It’s Thursday morning and I’m at New Ventures West, the coaching school I attended and where I now work (very) part-time. My job here is simple – I’m responsible for setting up the room where the new trainees will embark on their year-long journey into what it means to be who they truly are, and how to live and coach others from the seat of their own authenticity in order to open the doors for others to touch back into their own real selves. Over the course of the day I take care of making sure there is enough coffee, tea, snacks, that things are tidy, all the water pitchers full and so on. If one of the leaders needs gas in the car, I get it. If it’s too cold its my job to make it warmer. In short, I create and hold the energetic space for the deeper work of the students to unfold. In turn, I get to sit in on the trainings and be more and more a part of this extraordinary community. I am so grateful.
Being in this role has also been challenging and developmentally rich for me. I get to encounter all kinds of parts of myself I’d rather run from. For instance, when I was here in the role of student, there was a lovely wise woman doing this job. When she would pick up our trash or scramble to get us something we needed, a felt a bit uncomfortable and wondered why she was doing such a lowly job.
So now here I am. I’ve learned what “humble” feels like. There is a certain stripped down quality that comes from playing a certain role where ways you identify yourself aren’t visible or conveyable. This is a largely silent job, and as I pick up coffee cups and refill waters, no one knows that I’m a yoga teacher, former attorney and already a practicing coach. I’m just the woman there to serve their needs. This naked-ness is honestly new to me. I never knew I didn’t know what humble felt like. And, I don’t mean lowly or less than. Rather, it is a beautiful humility that is internal. It is an opportunity to be right there with this new place in me. To feel how being without my labels allows me to receive the teachings of the course with an openness and freshness I don’t usually have. It is as though I’ve allowed myself to let of my own self-labeling and just experience, open and serve.
And, I love it. This job is in no way about me. There isn’t a boss or partner or even student from whom I can seek validation. This creating and holding the space is very subtle, almost anonymous. I am here to serve and support, to live from my stripped down humble self so that others can unfold. Just to be, to serve. It’s as though my spirit takes a deep sigh of relief, my body settles, and a little more joy arises.
Our asana practice can be like this, too. However, so often in class, I see students (and, also myself) practicing from this place of self-labels. The “my body’s not aligned” label or the “I’m not getting it” label or the “I’m the best one in here” label and so on. Even the body and breath have their own kind of labels: the gripped around a technique body, the tight breath in response to a new pose, the preference for this kind of practice or pose or that. These can be more less conscious.
I find that the more I invite that ’stripped down’ quality to my practice where we come from a place of openness, almost sweet tenderness, the more authenticity and expansiveness and groundedness the practice can enliven in us. Just be, just support, just serve, your own heart.
Humble:
1 : not proud or haughty : not arrogant or assertive
2 : reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference